Inside Un-Tall Tales

What’s in Un-Tall Tales for you?

The Freebie

Is Billy Freeb the world’s most innovative musician or is he not a musician at all? Is he a genius or is he the world’s laziest man? Whatever, his 15 minutes are upon him — will he survive?

(The Freebie was first published in the July 2002 edition of The London Magazine.)

Cats Die

Middle age and disillusion are creeping up on our hero and he plans to take it lying down. His adulterous plan could bring him release or ruin. Or, of course, life might have other ideas for him.


The author doesn’t read poetry, and doesn’t get it when he does, but here are three poems by him anyway, featuring chickens, torture, teeth, and underpants.

Dumb Novel

A lot of dumb novels are big hits, and in this story the dumbest novel hits it biggest.


Houdini dunnit, so why not our hero? Well, he’s not Houdini, is he.


Extracts from a weblog by the author. Talking cats, sausages, new uses for bananas, nuclear explosions in the office, sex on trains, more sausages — is it real or is it made up? You decide.

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